It's weekend again!!

I've just posted a blog abt hw wonderful e previous wkend was.. before i realised it.. wkend is coming again!

tmr would be a long and fulfilling day..

11am meet kezia at lws
1230pm dance comm meeting
3pm SD meeting
8pm 4 division discussion meeting

A day of meeting..

It's last dance prac today.. realli v tired frm all e jumpings..

Finally finished my sci of music concert review.. realli dunno wat to write.. so juz dump in most of what i've researched on..

Exams are comin.. haven't realli gotten my engine started..
haha.. trying hard to read my text or notes whenever i've e time..

somehow it seemed better than previous sem.. cos e materials r mostly comprehensible..
n also my psych mods mostly inter-linked.. so i've no reason to perform poorly for tis exam..

I gonna pull up my CAP!! tis is realli e lowest it can get.. every sem muz improve!
chiong arh!!!!

A wonderful weekend..

Good things always go by at lightning speed.. tt's why i've learnt to treasure every moment of life.. be it juz a little simple act.. but deep down.. it's a lot a lot more.. learning to cherish makes one happier.. n makes one loves others more..

these 2 wks r really v happening.. tt's why i didn't even have time or energy to blog..

last wk-end was youth camp..

this wk is 4 days with darling.. so happy!!!

Day 1:

Went cycling at east coast park.. was lost on our way there.. but kind to tink of it.. quite romantic.. hehe.. prob nt to most ppl.. but it is to me.. anyway.. we had a long walk for abt 1/2 hr before reaching e park.. feel fats burning.. haha..

it was kind of long since i went cycling.. nt a bad ex. too.. =)

aft tt, went k-box wif dear's army friends.. there're only 2 girls in e grp.. =p
den went nydc for dinner..
e thing is.. most of wat they r toking sounds foreign to me.. so i was mostly listening.. or talking to dear..
keeping myself entertained wif my own thoughts.. haha.. but anyway, as long as i'm wif dear.. i dun really mind tt.. though i'd prefer to be wif him as a couple..

Day 2:

Meeting --> GKI exhibition --> Home (finally studying!!) --> yongkang's hse

Yongkang juz bought 2 doggies.. so cute.. though i dare nt touch or hug it..
dear is a dog lover.. haha.. most likely we'll get a doggy next time.. haha.. =)

Day 3:

A day in sch.. aft lesson, dear came nus to study wif me.. another day of studying.. =)
guess wat.. i met xiaoling n jun yue at perk point! was quite happy to see them as i haven't seen them for some time..
guess junyue longing to come nus liao.. haha..

Day 4:

Meeting --> darling's hse --> demo recording..

hehe.. so happy.. finally got my 3rd demo done up..
my song writing haven't been v spontaneous.. haven't come up wif any new songs these few mths..
then i still have quite a few songs which demo haven't been done up..
hehe.. nw tt i found another way of recording.. hopefully, it'll aid my progress.. but study first!

Shall sleep liao.. getting late.. hai.. sleeping later n later.. naughty princess.. =p

Recharged.. a new resolution to go ahead..

Guess wat? i'm at mac.. having e sausage mcmuffin wif egg meal..
haha.. but as usual.. i'm alone.. so it's blogging time again.. =)
sometime, it's really alright to be alone.. we need some time for ourselves to think abt ourselves n things ard us..

Finally, it's e day of youth camp! tonight i'd be heading to e wonderful youth camp..
i really felt as if e camp as began since yesterday..

i was really happy tt i've overcomed my fundamental darkness (laziness tt will cause me to skip e mtg) n went for e ldrs study mtg.. cos i'm really recharged aft hearing mr chan's lect..

Yesterday lect topic was related to having a sense of gratitude.. aso in line wif tis mth creative life..

then, i was reading e CL tis morning on e train on e way to sch.. was really touched by e content of e CL.. esp a testimonial of a young girl.. her spirit is really admirable.. if there's no-one ard me.. i would have cried.. i was touched to tears really..

then, it came to me tt i haven't been pushing myself to e limits for kosen-rufu.. it's a lifelong thing i know..
but really.. if kosen-rufu becomes part of u.. u won't find it a hassle to do it.. but find even more joy than doing other things..

it's as if a new flame of hope n determination is relightened in my life..
i'm resolved to devote myself to bringing others to happiness.. by introducing them to nichiren daishonin's buddhism..

i found tis guidance by sensei most encouraging..
"once we understand tt everything tt happens to us is to enable us to attain buddhahood in tis lifetime, all of our problems will be resolved. on e other hand, e more we tend to complain n put e blame on others, e longer we're delaying e transformation of our karma."

gonna start my project search.. =)

great day ahead! missing darling every moment..

Unhappiness between..

Well, it had been a 'happening' day today..

Last nite, while dear was talking to me, he was caught by his officer..
hw unluckily!! it's my fault tt dear is punished.. wif his hp confisticated till e end of e wk..

den nw he feeling down..

i hope dear is someone who dun tink so much.. is nt so sensitive.. is more self-centered..
like other guys might be..
so dear might be happier..

i know he did tis all for me.. n i feel bad tt everytime i let him worry.. let him upset..

sometimes i'd tink tt it's b'cos he tinks too much.. wat's wrong wif nt phoning each other for a wk?
tink we've nv done tis b4..

sometimes, i really feel tired abt tis relationship..

why do we've to phone each other every moment?
why is dear angry everytime i come in contact wif a guy friend?
why muz we go out every wkend?
why muz i sacrifice for him?
why muz i miss my activities to go out wif him?

why, why n more whys?

i juz hate wen dear is angry.. i wan to do sth b'cos i want to for him.. nt b'cos to prevent him frm being angry..
u see e diff?

maybe we both really have diff attitudes n views towards various issues.. but as i said before, who is perfectly compatible?
wat is impt in a relationship is trust, love, commitment..

i aso believe in sensei's guidance abt love.. tt a healthy relationship is one tt leads both in a positive direction..
that we'll help each other achieve our goals.. as well as dreams.. bt aso loving n caring for each other..

yes, we're v loving n caring to each other most of e time.. but esp during quarrels.. i feel esp vexed abt our differences..

hai..

dear, i'm trying to complain abt u here.. but i juz wanna put down my thoughts.. so tt i'd feel better.. n i hope u'd b able to read it before or aft meeting me on sun.. u said i nv mention to u hw i feel.. so i juz put down a few of my thoughts..
i know u might be tearing a bit while reading.. bt i really dun wan to hide anything frm u.. honesty is wat u treasured most..

like today.. i went kbox wif 2 guy friends n 1 girl friend.. u r a bit upset abt tis..
seriously, i dun find e prob wif tt.. ok, u might say.. next time we might go out together..
ok.. dun wat if i fall in love wif them.. or they fall in love wif me.. den i'd leave u.. n so on..
honestly, if ur gf is such a person.. u may as well nt have her.. she won't be long n serious wif u anyway..
but i'd say.. i'm nt tt type of flirt.. n i'm nt tt weak in terms of relationship to reject a date frm a guy!! nt giving them any chance to do anything funny wif me..

i really love u.. n i'd wan to have a future wif u.. it's a dream tt i've since i met u.. tt we'll be waking up together to do breakfast.. to do sth of interest together.. to rear a child together.. n would go out for family outing..
it's such a beautiful thought tt i'd wan very very very much to come true.. tt's why i named my blog wif piggy palace n dreamy land..

omg.. dear..

i started missing u already.. really missed ur voice n laughter..

hugz..

i was back since 8 plus.. but i'm too lazy to start any studying.. i know tis is bad darling..
bt i'm really nt in e mood of doing so aft e quarrel wif u..

dear.. i really love u..

i really need to have a good talk wif u.. e most impt thing is tt darling is happy..
i can do anything to make darling happy.. (maybe u might tink i'm nt genuine in tis.. cos i can't give up as many things as u.. bt i'm really saying frm my heart.. )

dear feeling stressed up since army begins..
i'm feeling stressed too..

i really c e friends ard me complaining abt life being tiring.. tt they r tired of studying n stuff like tt..
tt's why i tot soka youth r really diff..
we're unformidable to any obstacles in our lives.. n we nt only challenge them courageously.. we do them wif great joy..
it's really hard to do so in reality.. but i guess.. it takes a lot of effort n wisdom to do so.. n prob tt's wat we may term as buddhahood in everyday form.. really darling.. i really tink we shld stand up to our challenges n rise above them..
n lead others in e same path.. u look closer ard u..
ur friends might seem in good life.. enjoying their times wen we at meetings.. but it onli bring them temporary happiness..
aft tt, they r overwhelmed by their problems again.. so it's kind of a cycle.. so if u ask them if they r happy..
i guess as long as they live.. they would most likely nt say so..

i'm tinking.. prob all these while.. it's e fundamental darkness in us attacking us.. b'cos nw is precisely e best time we can show actual proof in our lives.. cos we facing so many stressors.. though it's nt easy to overcome.. but i'm sure wif our effort to study n prac.. we'd definitely find e way to absolute happiness..

prob both of us r nt in tt kind of life state yet.. tt's why we dwelled upon e attitude diff. between us..
if we've e same goal in mind.. prob it'd b e best solution to any of our problems..

Dear.. u r my spirtual support.. e closest person to my heart.. e most impt person i've in my life.. e most treasured of all treasures.. i dun wan to lose u.. but i dun wan u to be unhappy too.. i wan to be wif u forever n ever.. u r my everything..

Loving u never stops.. missing u never cease.. caring for u is endless.. being wif u is a gift.. hugz..

Lunch alone..

Guess what am i doing now? yeah.. like e title.. i'm having lunch alone..
well, i used to feel awkward if i were to eat alone in e canteen..

indeed, i still feel awkward doing that.. so i 'ta pou' n eat at a bench.. den blog while eating..

sometimes, we really dun need to think about what others think about us.. juz do wat u like..
haha.. easier said than done.. yeah.. u know.. social influence r greater n more overwhelming than u'll admit..
but it's a perfect timing to blog nw.. =)

Wkend had been a breeze.. but every wkend is great! cos i'll be wif darling.. =)
darling's safra card gave us a bit of discount for movie tickets.. an incentives for us to go catch a movie every wkend.. =p

Looking forward to going for the youth camp.. i know it's nt going to be a luxurious wkend.. but i'd wan to make it a wonderful, memorable one.. hopefully, it'll be a turning point of my life.. i'll make it a turning event of my life anyway!

The preparation meeting yesterday was filled wif so much energy n passion.. it makes us all looking forward to the camp..
N i've learned abt something..

Life is a constant struggle.. there won't b a time when we r nt facing any trouble at all..
so wat's impt is our spirit.. tt we'll overcome our own weaknesses.. as well as difficulties wif high life condition..

N not to forget e fact tt happiness is nt something to be obtained outside our lives.. but instead.. surmount frm within our lives.. cos everyone of us is a Buddha.. =)

Before the meeting, i was complaining to dear that i felt over-loaded wif all e commitments n responsibilities..
nw i'm re-enlightened.. tt i need to challenge my situation.. it might nt b easy.. but i'll change myself day by day..

One of my favourite guidance frm ikeda sensei is: "u'll nv find happiness if u dun challenge urself frm within."

Enuff of blogging for nw.. going library to study b4 my lect starts..